Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The other side of the family.

One of the big things that was happening this past holiday weekend was that I was finally going to visit my Dad since 1995. Its not something that I talk about often and many people don't even know that I never knew my father and I only met him once before he passed away in early '95. It was a very bitter time for me and I was very angry for a long time because I felt cheated out of a lot with him. I was angry that I never got to know him and I was angry with him that to me he never made any effort to want to get to know me. Unbeknown to me, he did call every so often and he spoke to my Mom I guess to check up on me. Who knows, I could have answered the phone one of the times that he called and never even knew it. It took me a while to get over that bitterness and in this whole process I had a sister. We had spoken to each other through letters, but it wasn't until the funeral that we actually met. Nice timing isn't. I took it very hard that when we went to the funeral there was this whole other family that I never met and never knew. I guess they knew of me and had seen pictures of me, but it was also hard to hear everyone say how much I looked like my Dad. They seemed very welcoming to me and that was comforting. A few years later some shit hit the fan while my mom was trying to get benefits for me and that was the end of the communication for me and that side of the family. I never forgot about them nor my sister.

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So Wednesday we had the morning open and I decided that I wanted to go by the cemetery for a visit. I hadn't been there since the funeral and I thought it fitting since we were in the area. I had to go digging through some old journals at home to find the funeral information that listed the cemetery and I had to scour the internet to find his plot locations, but in the end I found. When we finally got to the cemetery I started to get discouraged because I couldn't find him. I ended up going to the office to ask the exact location and I guess I walked right past it the first time around. It was pretty powerful and I didn't break down like I thought I was going to but I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that the kids were with me. Had I been alone I probably would have lost it, but I am glad that I went.

A few years ago, a couple of months before my wedding I found my sister on myspace. I will say that I was so nervous sending her a message because I had sent her a letter and I never knew if she had received it because she didn't write back, but I guess she had intended to write back but misplaced the envelope with my address on it. From there we have kept in contact with each other. We had talked about meeting up before but it never seemed to work out time wise for either of us. Finally we were heading to MI for the holiday so we took advantage of the opportunity and she drove down from upper MI. I was kind of nervous seeing her because we haven't seen each other in 15 years. People change a lot in that amount of time. How much will we get along? How many similarities will we have?

We met up and when I saw her I wasn't nervous at all. It felt great to see her and at the same time I knew in the back of my mind that the time was going to go by far to quick and we were not going to have the time that we wanted to really reconnect. I was right when it was time for us to go because Aiden was just not having it anymore at the Ford Museum. We said our good byes and of course there was some lingering there. I wish we had  taken a picture of us together. You always think of that after the fact. I took pictures of everything else and it was great to meet my other 2 nephews for the first time as well. Aiden had fun playing with them. Next time that we get together it will be during a weekend that does not have a major holiday and that way we can have a lot more time to really catch up. And maybe I could also see some of the other aunts and cousins that I have on that side as well.


Aiden and Keagan looking at the giant train wheels

Getting ready to ride on the carousel.
My nephew Keagan- Love that smile!
My nephew Gavin. Checking out the workshop.

My sister Arley and Gavin.


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