Its been sad that no matter how much you try the mom will always be the number 1 woman in a man's life. And that they will even seek out someone to marry/pair up with that is similar to their mothers. When I get irritated with Aiden and put him in time out he will call for me and even when Seth puts him in time out, it is me that Aiden will call for to "rescue" him from his punishment. When Aiden gets older and he gets married to whomever (decent person at least) I don't plan to or want to try to still be the number one person in his life because at that time I view his wife or spouse as the new #1. I hope that he will not try to compare that person to me because that makes for very tense relationships. That is when in-law resentments start and I really don't want that in our family. I want to like any in-laws that I will have and I want them to like me as well.
Now I am not like my husbands mother and my husband likes the fact that I am not like her. However, there are times that it comes out that there are still things that my husband like that his mother does that I as a married in family member will never do the same way. There is this recipe that I got from Seth's mother for sweet and sour. Its tiny meatballs and chopped up stew beef with chopped onion brown and sugar and lemon to tart it up a little. Last night I made it and in my opinion it was pretty darn close to how she makes it. I really couldn't tell much of a difference and I have a particular sense of taste. if something doesn't taste right then I can tell. I ask Seth how he liked it and he says "it wasn't bad" i.e.- "It's not like my Mom's" At least that is how I read it. That is how any wife, girlfriend, daughter in law would take it. And of course in my mind I was thinking, "well I think it tastes fine and this is how I'm going to make it." As a cook we all make things just a little bit differently and that is how we add our signature, our touch to things. Eventually he will learn this.